Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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