This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
