here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
did i just pee glitter
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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