my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize