You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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