rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize