i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
