is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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