When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize