I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Randomize
