You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
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