when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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