I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I could make wine with my vomit
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
she pinky promised me she was 18
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Randomize
