So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
