i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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