woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I will pee on everything he values.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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