I can feel you judging me through the phone.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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