i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
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