508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize