Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
this boner is exhausting
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Randomize
