her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
