when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
