I just cut my nipple shaving
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
