Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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