I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
