some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
