was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
