I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
