and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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