just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Randomize
