Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
