i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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