you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
