im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
