good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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