WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
