in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
