Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
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