She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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