Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize