I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
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