You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
nutella sex= disaster
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
