Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Randomize
