That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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