worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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