I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
