He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Randomize
