He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Randomize
