Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
