I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
