The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
