btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
