Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
