I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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