So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
