she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
