sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
COCAINE IS GR8
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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