Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
