would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Come on in and take your pants off
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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