you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
