I like my sex mixed with concussions.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
